Sometimes a short line says more about our inner attitude than a long conversation. In an analysis for Psychology Today, author Anneli Rufus points out three common expressions that can reflect low self-esteem: “No, thank you“, “Excuse me“ and “I'm ready“ or “I'm ready“.
However, it is important not to take these words as a psychological diagnosis. The same expression can have different meanings depending on the situation, tone and relationship between people.
“No, thank you“
According to Rufus, rejection is sometimes not just a sign of lack of interest. A person with low self-esteem may be hiding a belief that they don't deserve what is being offered to them. Thus, a polite response becomes a way of withdrawing before the other person has a chance to reject or disappoint the person.
„Excuse me“
An apology can also become an automatic response. Some people use it not only when they have made a mistake, but also when they are taking a seat, asking for help, or starting a conversation. In this context, the word can indicate a feeling that their presence is an inconvenience to others.
The UK's National Health Service describes low self-esteem as a condition in which a person views themselves more negatively and critically. Possible manifestations include avoiding challenges, being overly considerate of others, and fear of rejection.
„I'm ready“ or “I'm ready“
At first glance, this is a confident statement. In his analysis, however, Rufus presents it as a phrase that sometimes hides the opposite feeling: that a person does not feel prepared and is afraid of being watched or evaluated.
“Low self-esteem has its own language“, Rufus writes. It includes expressions such as “I'm ugly“, as well as the question “Do you want to have dinner with me?“, when the expectation behind it is that the invitation will be rejected.
When words become a pattern
The American Psychological Association points out that negative self-talk can reinforce negative beliefs about oneself. Research on social anxiety also shows that people who tend to interpret ambiguous situations as threatening or judgmental are more likely to experience anxiety.
In a study of 2,402 participants, people with low self-esteem were more likely to expect others to dislike them and had a harder time changing this expectation after receiving positive feedback. Therefore, the three phrases can only be seen as possible signals of self-criticism, not as evidence of a specific psychological condition.
Sources: psychologytoday.com