After an accident, natural disaster, conflict or other distressing news, children may become more anxious, insecure and fearful. For them, adults’ reactions often serve as a guide to understanding what has happened. That is why the conversation should be calm, clear and tailored to their age.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that parents first ask what the child has already heard or understood. This helps determine whether the child has accurate information or has formed an impression based on fragments of conversations, social media and television footage. An appropriate way to phrase it is: “It is normal for this to worry you. We are here to support one another.”
Facts Should Be Brief and Easy to Understand
Young children do not need details that could frighten them further. It is important for them to receive the basic information in words they understand, along with reassurance that their loved ones are safe. If they ask the same question repeatedly, this should not be seen as defiance. Repetition is often a way for them to seek predictability and security.
Parents should clearly tell children that they are not to blame for the disaster, accident or conflict. When talking about violence, it is important to stress that aggression is not an acceptable way to solve problems. At the same time, adults do not need to have an answer to every question. An honest “I don’t know” is more appropriate than a made-up explanation.
Emotions Can Be Expressed Without Words
Some children talk about what they have experienced, while others withdraw or express it through play. Drawing, playing with dolls, reading, keeping a diary or talking during a walk can help them put their fear, anger and sadness into words. It is important for parents to listen without belittling what the child says and without insisting that they share more than they are ready to.
Temporary changes in behavior are possible after a traumatic event – a greater need for attention, irritability, sleep problems or a return to earlier habits. The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that reactions may also include physical complaints, fears and changes in everyday behavior. If these signs intensify or begin to persistently interfere with sleep, school and relationships with loved ones, parents can seek help from a pediatrician or mental health professional.
Less Distressing Footage, More Predictability
Constantly following the news and viewing graphic images can increase anxiety. For young children, seeing the same footage repeatedly can sometimes seem like a series of new incidents. That is why access to such content should be limited. If older children want to watch the news, it is better for them to do so together with an adult who can explain the facts and correct misconceptions.
The American Academy of Pediatrics and UNICEF also recommend maintaining the usual family routines – meals, sleep, school and time together. Predictability gives children the sense that their lives continue to have structure. Parents should also direct their attention to the people who are helping – rescuers, medical workers, police officers, firefighters and volunteers. Taking part in an appropriate charitable initiative or writing a thank-you letter can replace feelings of helplessness with concrete action.
The most important message is that the child has a trusted adult by their side. Silence does not eliminate fear, while open and compassionate dialogue helps children understand what has happened and seek support when they need it.
Sources: woman.bg, healthychildren.org, unicef.org