How many people does it take to replace a mother on a short trip? A viral video by content creator Lindsey Bosway offered an unexpected answer: sometimes a husband, grandmother, mother-in-law, and babysitter.
In the video, Bosway asks eight of her friends who looks after their children while they are away from home. The answers are similar. The husbands stay with the children, but almost always also rely on additional help from their own parents, mothers-in-law, or a hired babysitter. The clip has been viewed 3.3 million times and has sparked a debate over who bears primary responsibility for childcare.
„It takes several people to replace one mother,“ reads the most-liked comment. Another user asks why a father needs help caring for his own children. The discussion quickly turns into a conversation about the difference between being a parent and being considered a „helper“ at home.
The trip took place on weekdays
In a second video, Bosway clarifies that the trip took place on Thursday and Friday, when all the husbands mentioned were at work. She adds that when her own husband recently went on a fishing trip, she hired a babysitter so that she could work.
„After two years of posting on TikTok, I have learned that people are very quick to get angry at fathers without having all the information,“ Bosway says.
This clarification does not end the debate. Harrison Fugman, co-host of the Two Parents And A Pod podcast with his wife Alex, takes a firm position. „If your wife goes away for the weekend and you can’t handle the kids as a father, you’re dropping the ball,“ he says. In his view, help from relatives can be a pleasant opportunity to spend time with their grandchildren, but childcare should not turn into a „huge event“.
The debate reaches the issue of invisible labor at home
Economist and associate professor at the University of Pennsylvania Corinne Low says the video surprised her, even though the data on the division of labor are well known. „Women still do more housework and provide more childcare on weekends. It’s not just about working hours,“ she points out.
Low says the expectation that a father should be unable to care for the children on his own sets the bar far too low. Content creator Paige Connell believes the reactions are linked to the experiences of many women who cannot leave without first organizing an entire network of helpers.
Data from the Institute for Women’s Policy Research support part of this discussion. According to the study, mothers spend 167% more time than fathers on primary childcare, meaning activities devoted entirely to the children.
Connell also draws attention to the practical side. When she travels, her husband has to use paid leave to take over childcare. Once the leave runs out, the family hires help. „People often don’t want to question the larger systemic problems and prefer to lash out at individuals,“ she says.
The video does not provide a universal answer to how many people are needed to take care of a family. But it has shown how differently the same work is evaluated when it is done by a mother or a father.
Sources: yahoo.com, iwpr.org