Many admit that having a child is as fascinating and meaningful as it is exhausting and frightening. A new study on parental satisfaction confirms this apparent paradox in life: compared to childless people, parents find their lives more meaningful. At the same time, however, they are often more dissatisfied than people who do not have children.
Sociologists Marita Jakob and Ansgar Hude from the University of Cologne conducted a study on the topic, and the results were published in the Journal of Marriage and Family. For the purposes of the study, more than 43,000 people from 30 European countries were surveyed.
Sociologists found that for both mothers and fathers, life is filled with deep meaning after the birth of a child - regardless of nationality and social status.
But with satisfaction, things are different. It not only depends a lot on the respective life situation, but is also a matter of the family policy of the state. Gender also matters - the satisfaction of mothers is lower than that of fathers.
In the Scandinavian countries, there are no differences between parents and childless people
“Parents who are in a more difficult situation are less satisfied”, says Marita Jakob, a professor of sociology. “Difficult” is the situation, for example, when it comes to single parents, very young people or parents with a lower educational qualification.
According to Jakob, however, this is not an immutable law of nature: “In the Scandinavian countries, the differences between social groups are much less pronounced”. Furthermore, in these countries the difference in life satisfaction between parents and childless people is much smaller than, for example, in Central and Eastern Europe.
The explanation that Jakob gives is that in the Scandinavian countries the system of childcare, parental allowances and maternity (paternity) works very well. “My assumption is that these measures have an impact on society. This means that children are not just a problem for parents, but a task that the whole of society takes on together.”
This approach is also reflected in the attitude of Scandinavian employers, Jakob points out. There, it is normal for parents to start work earlier and finish earlier, and important work conferences are more in line with the rhythm of families.
Higher satisfaction through greater gender equality
As before, family life is mainly taken care of by women. In Germany, every second woman works part-time in order to be able to look after the children. And of the men who do not work full-time, only six percent do so for family reasons. Parental leave is also mainly taken by women.
Another factor that would bring more satisfaction to parents in Germany in particular is gender equality. Equal pay, or rather the smaller pay gap in the Scandinavian countries, increases women's satisfaction, says Jakob. This in turn has a positive impact on the partnership and the family.
"A child is not a project for self-realization"
Marita Jacob says that when her children were small, she contacted other parents and joined forces - for example, they took turns picking up the children from kindergarten. Anyone who has small children knows that half an hour more or less can be decisive for whether you end the day with a nervous breakdown or not. That is why Jacob pleads for parents not only to offer each other more support, but also to really give it.
Children are important. Not only in the context of aging societies, which without young people would no longer be able to take care of pensioners. “Children also have their own value. They bring vitality, new ideas and innovations to society", emphasizes Maria Jacob.
Therefore, the sociologist believes that the state should take on greater commitments. “Children should not be a problem for their parents if childcare is unreliable or there are problems at school. Children are a task for society as a whole."
Author: Yulia Vergin