"I want to go to Ukraine. I want to go where Andrew died. This is one of the reasons why the Ukrainians cannot cede this territory - because so many people died there, not just our children," American Carla Weber tells DW.
Her family lives in Seattle, 10,000 km from Ukraine. For a long time, the war was something far away for her. But in 2023, that changed - then her son Andrew joined the Ukrainian army.
"It was in typical his style," says the mother. His relatives did not perceive his decision as something unexpected or strange. "People kept asking us - why did you let him go? And I answer: first, he is 40 years old. Second, I have no answer. Why didn't we stop him when he went to Afghanistan or Iraq? He perceived things the same way."
100 Americans died in Ukraine
Andrew dreamed of becoming a soldier since he was a child. He graduated from the Military Academy at West Point, served in Iraq and Afghanistan, was awarded the Bronze Star and the "Purple Heart" medal. After leaving the army, he became a lawyer and after leaving the American troops helped Afghan refugees leave their country. Then Russia invaded Ukraine and he dropped everything else - he went to fight on the front in Ukraine.
Andrew told his mother that he went to a training camp, where he was the only person who had ever seen combat. There was no one there to properly train the others in combat. In one of the messages, he wrote: "I feel like they probably felt during the Civil War, when the officers stood aside and just sent the children to certain death day after day".
The mother showed the message to his father and asked him to somehow contact Andrew, because she was convinced that he would leave the training camp and go to the front. And that's exactly what happened - Andrew immediately went to the front and became a unit commander.
His unit conducted several successful operations in eastern Ukraine, and even then he found ways to stay in touch with his mother. "He found a way to give me a signal that he was alive, and I reassured him that everything was fine with him."
However, on July 29, 2023, there was no signal from Andrew. Karla later learned that he had been killed by a Russian drone. "I lost consciousness from grief," says the mother. She had a hard time coming to herself, she couldn't stop crying.
The US Army is not fighting in Ukraine. But since the full-scale Russian invasion began, nearly 100 Americans have died there, most of them volunteers in the Ukrainian army.
For Carla, the future of Ukraine is now a personal one. She has a message she would like to hear from US President Donald Trump, who is trying to make a deal with Vladimir Putin to end the war. "If you give a guy like that an inch, he'll take a mile. Do you really think he'll stop at a small piece of territory when he wants to take over the whole country? I don't think people like Vladimir Putin can be appeased," Carla Weber is categorical.
"The Ukrainians can win this war if..."
DW correspondent Misha Komandovsky eventually manages to convey Carla Weber's words to President Trump and asks him what message he would send to those American families whose loved ones died fighting for Ukraine. The answer: "It's a shame that they died in a foreign country. Some of them are very respected people, what happened is very sad.".
Carla Weber, in turn, emphasizes that there is no need for either pity or sympathy. "We need action, and with the same courage that these men and women showed in fighting tyranny." The woman recalls: "Andrew used to tell us: "The Ukrainians can win this war if they have everything they need. They don't need the Americans or anyone else - they just need the right equipment and it will be over".
Carla Weber believes her son's words - that's why she and other mothers of fallen Americans come to Washington again and again - to remind us that their sons and daughters paid with their lives for democracy and freedom.
Author: Misha Komadovsky