Author: Mina Kirkova
”The morality of a government is measured by the way it treats children and the elderly”, said Hubert Humphrey in his speech in 1977. He is quoted by Zheni Vucheva - founder of the organization ”Okrilena”, which fights for gender equality and the elimination of discrimination against women. The reason is the recently publicized case from the capital's 138th school, in which video cameras installed in the toilets were connected via an application to the principal's phone, who received all the footage.
"We should be much angrier, because the most vulnerable part of our society - children - is subjected to such a thing", says Zheni Vucheva. "The question is who is the productive anger, who should we direct it to". According to her, the biggest problem is one - the judicial system in Bulgaria is not functioning. It is absurd that there is no real solution, since things are obvious, she comments. "The images from the cameras went to his phone, so he now has to go to court, and then be punished, go to prison".
However, this does not happen in Bulgaria in many cases. "No matter how many civic initiatives we take, no matter how much we talk, as long as there is no judicial system that says that someone who cut another person with a knife will go to prison, someone who killed his wife and locked her in a suitcase will go to prison, someone who takes pictures of children in the toilets will go to prison - there will be no qualitative change", fears Zheni Vucheva.
“Everyone is looking for someone to love them, some people abuse this”
What happened in the capital's 138th school is also a form of digital violence - something that is increasingly widespread in the world, and in Bulgaria as well. This is a problem that the "Okrilena” foundation is trying to draw attention to in one of its latest campaigns. Digital violence is extremely widespread and tangibly affects the most vulnerable age group - generation Z (15-28 years). Every third girl in this age group in the EU has experienced digital violence in the last 5 years, according to data from the EU Agency for Fundamental Rights.
"Okrylena” tells the stories of three girls who have experienced digital violence. According to Zhenya Vucheva, it is important to pay attention to the fact that violence is not always only physical. And often psychological and emotional violence is a precursor to physical. Unfortunately, many accept the red flags as simply part of "normal” relationships. "The stories they tell us are often so prosaic. No one was beaten, cut or physically abused in any way. However, this does not minimize the problem," says Zhenya. "Someone following you, checking your phone, making you send photos to prove where you are - all this is violence that can come out of the digital space and be transferred to the physical". That is exactly why "Okrylena" wants to provoke people to take this more seriously. "Everyone is looking for someone to love them. And some people abuse this, intentionally or not. If we understand that some relationships in the digital environment are not okay, maybe at some point society will gradually reach a consensus that is not okay under any circumstances", commented the founder of the foundation.
“I felt guilty that I was not good enough”
Zheni's own motivation to found the foundation is related to her personal journey - she experienced a relationship with an abuser. "It was very intense at first, I was excited, he loved me, I had always wanted something like that, which had never happened to me before", she says. "After a few months, he started making scandals with me, punishing me, everything was an endless cycle. He came to live with me, started telling me how my friends were jealous of me, why I talked to my parents so much, they were all excommunicated. I stayed at home and waited for him to come home so that there would be no problems". After a while, she managed to end her relationship with this man, thanks to the support of her relatives. However, she remembers that she kept blaming herself. "I always felt guilty that I didn't love him enough, that I wasn't good enough, and that's why he treated me this way".
This is a situation that many young people find themselves in - as evidenced by the work of "Okrilena". Zheni says that many young people write to her to tell their stories, which are strikingly similar to her own. "I really wanted to do something for women in Bulgaria" - this is how "Okrilena" begins.
Prescribed roles put women in a subordinate position
The founder of the organization shares that she has long thought about the way women exist in Bulgarian folklore and traditions. "Gender-based violence is rooted in deep social structures, inequalities and cultural models that form prescribed roles and expectations for women, placing them in a lower and subordinate position compared to men", she explains. "Women are portrayed as quiet, submissive, caring for others, serving their needs, a sexual object, but not a subject". Examples of this are proverbs such as "woman, eternal evil", "woman, always war", "a thoughtful woman walks unwashed" and so on. All these notions are accepted as natural (biologically inherent, not socially constructed) and lead to systematic and normalized violence against women.
Of course, men also play a significant role in the situation in society. That is why "Okrylena" wants to pay attention to their problems and talk to them in order to create a community in which healthy masculinity is respected. "This makes you a man - your partner being super successful, having the freedom to express herself", says Zheni. And then there are the boundaries - something that needs to be taught to both girls and boys. Unfortunately, the Bulgarian education system does not have any ways to teach children how to behave in their social relationships, Zheni notes. Equality is not mentioned at all in the curriculum, she comments. And this again brings us back to the most important thing - if the state does not function, it will be much, much more difficult, believes the founder of "Okrylena". Until systemic changes become a reality, "Okrylena", as well as other organizations in Bulgaria, are trying to convey an important message for everyone. "Even if someone hurts you, you have no right to bully them. The best punishment is to just leave. Deprive them of your love, just leave”.