Finally the west provides Ukraine with the first democratic atomic bomb to protect peace. Things are going well. At NATO headquarters, a decision is made that it is not good to bomb directly into the heart. Let's not Moscow, let's say Tula. Pras and Tula is powdered. There is no answer. Here, Putin is a wretch and a liar. Coward.
In that case, give me another tactical atomic bomb. A little bolder this time. Let's say over Yekaterinburg. Well, what are we to be afraid of this Putin? Go ahead, Petersburg. Pras and St. Petersburg is under water. It's all bullshit. So much so that the gay community comes up with a new motto – The atom is gay! A new gender has been discovered – atomosexual.
However, Putin does not respond. He's holed up in a bunker biting his nails. He launches some kind of crooked missile, but it's intercepted by ten places at the same time, plus it's so crooked that it lands in the nearest kindergarten, which borders a hospital. Western analysts are divided into two warring factions. One claims that Putin wanted to hit the kindergarten, and the second that he bombed the hospital. The debates are broadcast live on all democratic media. In order to stop the killer, the most correct decision was made - it provides five atomic bombs. And it begins – Moscow, Voronezh, Saratov and two more in Moscow, that these orcs have a very big capital.
Everything boils. Big Pharma begins production of condoms with iodine. Suck for health. Both fun and help against radiation. A lot is spent.
Putin does not answer because he has nothing to do. We're out of chips. Ukrainians are tarikats and no longer make their washing machines with chips, but with lamp circuits. Clumsy! Putin emigrates to Mars in a rocket disguised as a matryoshka doll, but Musk sends a platoon of gay US SEALs hot on his heels in tiny electric Tesla shuttles. No, I'm not picking on gays. There is simply scientific proof that during the nearly two-year flight to Mars, it is good for people to love each other. A pack of iodine-laced condoms also traveled to Mars to advertise that someone had to pay for the gas. Well, the fuel.
Anyway. Putin is arrested on Mars, and even his admission that he is genderqueer and wants to be called Putinka does not save him from a fair sentence handed down in The Hague. In the case of Mars, a small plywood model of The Hague was carried over and installed. The collective west decides it needs to celebrate, and instead of fireworks, it's better to drop ten more atomic bombs on Russia for cheating. The northern lights rise over the entire planet. The National Theater is doing the second part of its brilliant performance, and at the end of the premiere, a trembling actor announces that this theater will now be called the National Theater of Ukraine. The hall is on its feet and applauds.
Now don't be an idiot. Enjoy your dream, ride a scooter and drink two non-alcoholic beers each, which will give you the courage to kiss your best friend in a more special way. Until then, please.
Do you guys really not understand that this story ends before the first sentence?