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Emil Jotovski: Let's clean in one day

Half of the staff stands up and applauds

Sep 14, 2024 13:02 87

Emil Jotovski: Let's clean in one day  - 1
ФАКТИ публикува мнения с широк спектър от гледни точки, за да насърчава конструктивни дебати.

I know how these initiatives are born. From people trapped in offices, who every three hours have a planner on which they make important decisions. Let's leave aside that this makes sense and look at the details. After the important decisions have been made, it is time for positive initiatives. Because no meaningful company, including television, should exist without generating positive initiatives.

So, a couple of middle-aged alpha males surrounded mostly by mild-mannered girls suitable for illegitimate breeding are in a glass-enclosed conference room and start thinking. One of the girls suggests that it's good when something positive is done, it's good to be positive. That is, with a plus sign.

Another two of the girls enviously jot down the above thought in their expensive leather notebooks and frantically think about how to outdo this mental masterpiece. After a short and persistent brainstorm (favorite word), another girl suggested that their company should invent a battery with two positive ends. To christen her: “Be plus and plus!” The rest take notes. A third girl, inspired by the brainstorm, blurts out that she was struck by the positive idea of a magnet with two positive poles. Everywhere you look is always a plus!

Half the staff rises to their feet and applauds. Alpha males don't clap because they're too busy judging which girl's tits jiggle more rhythmically while clapping. After the applause, someone, most likely a hater whose name no one knows and is on probation, announces that this is impossible. Idiot!

There follows a short argument between two of the girls about what is possible and what is impossible. Win this with the red manicure. The idea of a double positive battery is rejected. All non-alpha males write this fact down in their notebooks. They put a marker, because next year it might be possible with batteries and magnets. You never know, and good ideas are everywhere.

One of the girls (blue manicure… what can I tell you) runs out of pen. It roars and leaves the room to powder its nose and calm down. There is an awkward silence. One of the alpha males blows up because he suspects that the girl is too emotional and might be pregnant. To calm us down, he says that he went hunting on Sunday with his new rifle for fourteen grand without VAT. He killed a jay, but there was a big pig fight in the forest. Wafer peels, papers, condoms. In general, not nature, but chicken. Another alpha male with a rifle for the modest nine grand (pitiful) is a little tired: “Well, why didn't you start cleaning?“ The first man is silent and thinks: “Wow, you are not the f@sh mother!“

The hater from a while ago has gathered a new dose of courage and is calling for a second time:

- Let's campaign and clean the country.

One alpha male tells him that they are not a cleaning company, and the other swears in his head. However, two of the girls have written everything down in the black leather notebooks. Let me just tell you, if something gets into a black leather office notebook, it becomes immortal. One of the girls, the one with the red manicure, raises her voice: -Where should we start with cleaning?

- From everywhere! – they invite the others – That way it will be the largest. We will clean the country from everywhere.

- And when will we do it? – it continues - We have holes in the schedule on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

- It can't! – the second alpha male cuts them – On Tuesday we have a symposium dedicated to the development of the company. And we won't feel like cleaning on Wednesday. It's Thursday. You know I'm hunting on Friday.

- So Thursday! - the girls write in their notebooks.

- And we will christen the campaign: “Clean Bulgaria in one day.“ – the hater calls. (God, where did that one come from?)

One of the men marks the hater for firing.

- That's right, and then we'll do a sequel: “And then let's take a bath for a whole year…“ – reaches a happy ending meeting the girl with the red claws.

The same man with the cheaper rifle shrugs and starts thinking about how to appoint this smart woman to a higher position so that the office can be equidistant between his office and the boss toilets.

Now… leave the thinking to him, and you take the brooms and be gone!

P.P. The idea of bathing is not mine.