Friends, I am excited to inform you that this morning I accepted the post of Speaker of the National Assembly. I will work on a rotational basis – until noon I will manage the BNT (there is not much work there anyway), and in the afternoon I will come to the parliament to strike a session (there is even less work there).
I hesitated for a long time whether to accept the post, but I can see that the people get very nervous when there is no Speaker of the Parliament, so in the end I ran.
Also, everyone prayed to me a lot. Boyko has been sending me bars, mataharitas, and finally mutri from Bankya all night. I couldn't refuse him.
WHY DO I THINK I AM SUITABLE FOR THE POST?
1. I have the support of the eight parliamentary parties and the ninety extra-parliamentary parties. Tva Slavi, Tva Barekov, Tva Mareshki, Tva Yaneto, Tva Yolo… – everyone supports me.
2. Everyone thinks that since Tsveta Karayancheva was the Speaker of the Parliament, it can't get any worse. That's right. At least I know that Beijing is not in Vietnam. Beijing has always been in Cambodia.
3. In the parliament, only nonsense is spoken, and I am used to listening to nonsense. After all, I have been working in television for 25 years.
4. I am very good at riding in a company car with a driver. In this respect I am an unsurpassed master.
My only fault is that I have read more than one book, and that is a serious handicap in politics. The most successful Bulgarian politician in history (according to Dilov-sin and Toma Bikov) read only one. And not all of it. So reading gets in the way, but I promise to stop it.
WHAT WILL I DO AS PRESIDENT OF PARLIAMENT?
1. I will reduce the working hours of the deputies. Now they work three days a week, and it's exhausting. I think one day a week is quite enough. And not every week.
2. I will reduce the prices in the buffet of the Parliament. Now a meatball there costs 32 cents, please! It's a hideous gem. I will reduce the meatballs to 6 cents.
3. I'm going to appoint Pecsata as head of the buffet. The oven is my neighbor, a big bohemian (they know each other with Vezdichka) and knows a lot of jokes. She also cooks divinely. His tripe stew with endrische and gossam has won three stars “Michelin”.
That, in a nutshell, is my program, friends. I will always be guided by the ancient Masai principle:
„THE CONNECTION MAKES THE KINDS“