- Is there no envy or competition in California?
- There is - but in a different context. There you feel that the machine of society is working. You press the button - you get a result. And it is not an illusion, but a reality. In Bulgaria, after I returned, I tried to do elementary things. Instead of solutions - I received hundreds of phone calls and officials who do not know who is responsible for what. You press the buttons - nothing happens. The system exists only on paper.
In California, your rights are protected, your freedom – guaranteed, no one is conspiring against you. But here's the paradox - there is something scary in this very orderliness. The feeling that everything is decided, ordered, predictable… leaves you alone and naked.
- Then where does all this lead?
- You come to the question: “So what?“ You live in a perfect system. The machine works. And you work in it. But tomorrow you die – and the machine continues. And then what is the point? To be just a well-oiled cogwheel mechanism?
Here comes the need for religion – as a consoling answer. Or psychotherapy – the other form of escape. The American suffers, but does not seek tragedy or joy in depth – he seeks an explanation, a diagnosis, a therapeutic answer. You are happy – you go to a therapist. You are unhappy – too. There is no catharsis. There is support.
- And yet – what is the main difference between California and Bulgaria?
- In California, life is balanced, rational, predictable. And this is an achievement – no one denies it. You have a home, security, money. You know that your taxes are going where they should. But this security lulls you. It does not allow you to face the big question: “What will I do with death?“
In Bulgaria, life is difficult. Almost nothing works as it should. But that is precisely why – when death touches you, you choose life with all your will. In California, you live in “perfection“, which deprives you of the need to think about death. But this is a drug. Hotel California – you can always get in, but never get out.
- What should a Bulgarian protect himself from today?
- In a world where everything works flawlessly, the biggest danger is error. In a world like Bulgaria, where almost nothing works, the danger is despair! But at the same time - where you are on the edge between life and death, the longing is born: “I want life!“
In California there is comfort - but it leads to oblivion of death. In Bulgaria there is pain - but it can wake you up.
- At the risk of sounding Machiavellian - does the end justify the means?
- Freedom does not come instantly. The human will matures slowly - through requests, through searches, through mistakes. Every request is a symbol of something deeper - a desire that we often cannot name. We think we want position, power, recognition - but deep down we crave something else. God looks precisely at this deep desire - not at external behavior, but at the inner goal. And judges according to it. That is why someone can make a mistake - but if his goal is good, he will be justified.
- If a person lives his whole life in error, is Bulgaria living wrongly?
- If the deep intention is good, even in the wrong direction - God's love intervenes. This is what happens with the apostle Paul - the persecutor of Christians. He does evil, but with good will - out of loyalty, out of the search for truth. And Christ says to him: "I am the One whom you are persecuting." The truth wins him over, because deep down he has always sought it. The same applies to Bulgaria. Maybe we are going the wrong way. But if our longing is pure - change will come.
- And what is the way forward - for Bulgaria and for the Bulgarian?
- Ultimately - everything depends on behavior. If it is towards goodness, towards truth - we will participate in God's love. We will not only know that it exists, but we will experience it. If we remain in consciousness, but without participation - this is a fall. This is hell - knowledge without life. How this change will happen - we do not know. But there will certainly be surprises, somehow Bulgarian…