Sex expert Laura Collins gave advice to a married woman to Metro who left her husband and was surprised , that her lover did not accept her.
The 32-year-old woman had been married for eight years. Last year, she met a man online who, like her, was unhappy with her marriage and soon cheated on her husband with him. The husband, who suspected that something was wrong, checked his wife's phone, caught her cheating and after a fierce argument, the woman went to live with a friend and asked for a divorce.
„When I told my lover about what had happened, he said he couldn't leave his wife because they had children and it would be difficult for him financially. "My husband was begging me to come back, and since there was nowhere else to go, I came back with a promise to try again," she wrote.
Now the woman is faced with a dilemma: her lover does not want her to stop seeing him. “I feel they both think only of themselves, and me?“, she asks.
In response, Collins noted that she was acting like a helpless victim, even though she was actually the protagonist in this situation.
„Going back to your husband because you have nowhere else to go is deeply unfair to him. If you feel like your marriage is over, you have to stay somewhere else, even if it's hard,”, she explains.
She warns that if the lover does not intend to divorce, there is a risk of remaining in the role of mistress for a long time. Collins adds that a woman can try to restore her relationship with her husband with the help of a family therapist. If she doesn't want to do that, the specialist urged her to contact a lawyer who specializes in divorce, but not to prolong the state of uncertainty.
You may deep down enjoy the drama and the idea of two men fighting over you, but there are other people involved. Your lover's children deserve to have a father who focuses on his family, not you. My advice is to back off and let him deal with his issues at home.
According to Collins, only if both she and her lover are free can they think about rekindling the relationship.