Teddy ANGELOVA, sports psychologist< /strong>
I tried to look at the Bulgarian girls... My stomach curled into a ball and I felt a real physical pain in my chest area. I loved watching rhythmic gymnastics, we watched with my whole family, I remember the emotions I experienced together with our girls - joy, tears, pride, sometimes disappointment.
You see beauty, elegance, grace, shine, smiles, hugs... This is what I saw too, until I started working as a sports psychologist with more and more gymnasts. I can say that I gained a lot of experience with girls from Sofia and most of the biggest Bulgarian cities.
This is what I see in my office:
- children aged 11-12-13 who tell me in detail how they want to kill themselves.
- children who are on the verge of anorexia because the trainers (and in some cases also the parents) tell them that they are fat and need to lose weight, when in reality these children are very thin. Anorexia is an extremely dangerous disease with a high mortality rate.
- children who tell me how they are systematically, daily humiliated, badly insulted, criticized, and in some cases physically hit, pushed and targeted.
- children who tell me that they train for 5-6-7-8 hours and don't even let them drink water. If they train for 7-8-9 hours, they have a short lunch break to eat something.
- children who tell me that they hurt themselves because they didn't do something the way they were asked to do. Kids who tell me they're a complete failure, that they're trash and that nothing will ever come of them in life.
- children who are repressed, closed, quiet, executive. Children who are afraid.
- children who are made to train and play sick with a temperature of 39 degrees, with broken legs and arms.
- parents who understand that something wrong is happening with their child, are confused, but do not know what to do.
- parents who are also subjected to manipulation and psychological harassment by coaches and club management.
- parents who tell me that it's like that everywhere. Those who have enrolled their children in several different clubs and categorically say that this approach and attitude is more common in the entire structure of our rhythmic gymnastics.
In addition to confused and scared parents, there are those who operate with the same approach that the children's coaches operate.
This is not a discipline, nor an approach to building strong personalities. This is violence in its purest form.
It is not healthy to train 6-7-8-9 hours a day. It is not healthy not to give children water during training.
It is not healthy to humiliate, insult, threaten, resort to physical violence.
This is not just contrary to all the values that sport fosters, it is contrary to our human values and rights.
I can't keep quiet anymore. I was a professional athlete, I was extremely ambitious, I know what it's like to chase medals and titles. I know what it's like to play sick, injured. What it is to leap over and overcome yourself. I know, I've done it. Where by my will, where pressured by coaches. But the price of medals, be they Olympic ones, is NOT human health and life.
When I started working in sports psychology, I never imagined that I would talk to so many children who wanted to self-harm or kill themselves. I had no idea how much violence and bullying there was in sports. I naively believed that I would help teenagers and athletes to be more confident, more focused, more relaxed before a competition to improve their sports performance...
You know, every single person, if subjected to the "discipline" that our gymnasts are subjected to, will perform anything perfectly - be it ball routines, digging holes, carrying stones, building of buildings etc. If he does it 5-6-7-8 hours a day, for years, if he is threatened, humiliated, insulted, physically abused. If he is not given water and food. Every single one of us will perform whatever we do at an extremely high level, I guarantee you.
Through this "approach" and "discipline" new, young bullies are being created, who tomorrow will train the children in this way. They will raise their own children this way.
Violents are created or the lives of young, talented, capable people are ruined. Because the traumas inflicted by this "approach" and 20 gold medals cannot heal them. Years of therapy will be necessary, and in many cases a lifetime will not be enough.
We live in a country that encourages violence. I've been talking a lot about violence in sports lately. Most people pass these threads by... Does something extreme have to happen to pay attention? Nothing changes with silence, in fact, things get worse...
P.S. Addendum to the post, provoked by a comment:
A lady wrote a comment and shared that she found the coach pushing her 5-year-old daughter against the wall, after which she stopped her from the sport in question. This is the short version of what the lady in question shared. By the time I sat down to answer her, she had deleted her comment, most likely out of fear or shame. I understand and thank her! She acted bravely and healthily in the situation for her daughter.
Fear and shame are at the root of keeping silent. Children remain silent out of fear, in some cases threatened by their coaches that if they speak, something bad will happen. Famous athletes, parents, coaches even, prefer to remain silent out of fear or shame. I have also kept some things quiet for many years.
Our country is run through fear and violence. A while back I was talking to a teenage athlete who told me he wanted to "fix" Bulgaria through power, imputation of fear, through violence, even through murder, would kill for Bulgaria. His father and his coach as "real Bulgarian men" they bring him up through physical abuse, insults, humiliation and "strong discipline". And at the same time thoughts of suicide creep into the teenager...
The situation is terrible in Bulgarian homes, schools, sports halls. I still have faith that things can change for the better, but it is imperative that we stop being silent.
The text was published on Facebook